Six Oreos Deep: A Tale of Resolutions
If you are one of those people that hopes the door DOES hit
2020 in the BLEEP on the way out, please raise your hand. YOU…are all my
kindred spirits. I hope you all grabbed those blessings and learning
experiences out of his back pocket before he left, and that all of you safely
welcomed 2021 to the party, surgical mask and all. I like odd numbers better
anyways.
Not to offend those of you that have vowed serious changes
this year, but I have an aversion to New Year’s resolutions. To me, it means
waiting in line for a treadmill at the gym but reminding myself to be patient,
as things will go back to normal by the end of the month when the
“short-timers” are 6 Oreos deep, sitting on the couch, watching reruns of The
Office. Keep in mind—I have played both roles of gym rat and Oreo scrapper
throughout my life. Regardless, momentum comes to a screeching halt before
Valentine’s Day.
I have good news. I
have very recently learned that there is a formula to making changes that
stick. You will notice that I will frequently refer to psychotherapist Eliza
Kingsford, author of Brain Powered Weight Loss. She is brilliant, and
because she has challenged other diet specialists to look beyond motivation and
self-discipline (which, HELLO…are not working for people), she will forever be
my “go to”.
A resolution is a firm decision to do or not do something.
If you are going to make a firm decision for the new year, let it be to simply reflect
on the previous year. Analyze your successes and your failures. What worked for you? What didn’t? And if it
didn’t, QUICK! Open the door and toss that out on its tailbone, right next to
2020! You cannot use those things that didn’t work and expect a different
result!
The words intention and goal are mistakenly
used interchangeably. When someone asks what your goal is for the year, your
response might be something like, “I want to lose 20 lbs. I’m gonna eat right,
exercise, and get enough sleep.” Sounds good, right? Unfortunately, this is the
road to your couch, cookies, and comedies before February. Let’s talk
intentions…
Google describes an intention as “an aim or plan; the action
of intending”. This might sound an awful lot like a “goal”, but unlike the
goal, an intention is values driven and has purpose. Intention is
an intrinsic motivator filled with emotion and, dare I say, intensity,
and one is more likely to accomplish a goal when it is aligned to that higher
intention. In fact, one should not SET a goal unless the intentions behind it
are clear. Intention: “I want to feel better in my clothes. I want to have
positive feelings when I walk by the mirror. I want to feel energetic during
the day and sleep better at night. I want to be able to play with my grandkids.
So, (goal:) I want to lose 20 lbs.” Remember, from one of my previous posts, it
is emotion that drives behavior! The intention addresses how you want to FEEL
when the goal is met.
Your goal is now stomping around like a three-year-old
because it is not getting the attention it used to. It’s ok, sweetheart. You
have NOT been forgotten. The intention drives the goal, and the goal becomes
the roadmap back to that desired feeling. But if you remove the intention, the
goal cannot come full circle.
It’s time for you to put this to the test. Do some
self-reflection. Take just ONE of your goals and identify the intention behind
it. Tether that goal to the deeper meaning…the emotion of the intention,
because it will be that intention that keeps you engaged in your goals and
pulls you through when the going gets tough!
Setting goals with intentions? I can get behind that
and….
Be Well!
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